Calculus/The Sucker/Apology triple-whammy post
There's this woman in my calculus class I call "The Sucker". She's in her mid-40's, married, Polish, and has a PhD in Spanish Cinema. Her husband is somehow involved in politics and lives in Washington DC. After a brief political career of her own in Poland, The Sucker decided to follow in her sister's footsteps to become a doctor. I learned all of this after our first class, as she talked at me all the way to the parking lot.
One thing that the music industry has taught me is that self-promotional people are usually not as talented and accomplished as they want you to believe. But they are incredibly desperate for your approval. After our initial one-sided chat where she told me her life story (including the screenplay that she wrote that she pitched all over Hollywood and had several meetings with people - BIG people - no, really HUGE people. Don't believe her? Believe her but just don't care? That's right.) I saw that she is one of those self-promotional people, and I don't really want those people in my life. She latched on to me because she found out that I'm sorta in the music industry and I'm sure in the back of her mind she felt that I could do something for her and her beloved screenplay. She didn't ask me any questions about me or my existence. All that mattered to her was getting her pitch out so that I'd have all the information, should I need to call on her some day. I won't.
The following week, The Sucker sat next to me in class, and talked at me through the whole 3 hours. She just didn't understand basic concepts of mathematics, and really should not have been in this class. But she had to take it to get into med school...sorry....I swear I'm not laughing...but can you imagine this person treating other people? She'd be like, "So, what's troubling you today?" And you, the patient, would answer, "I think I have an intestinal worm". And she'd be like, "I once wrote a screenplay about starving children in Botswana and almost got Kevin Costner to play the lead! Then I ran for mayor in Krakow and lost by a landslide!"
The week after that and every class thereafter, I made sure to pick a seat away from The Sucker, or a seat that she couldn't put herself next to for some reason. Sometimes I sat at the end of a row and made sure there was someone else sitting on the other side. Sometimes I spread all my belongings around the seats next to me. Anything to avoid The Sucker.
A week before the first exam, The Sucker approached me after class and asked for my phone number, in case I wanted to get together to study with her. I politely told her no, I can't get together this week, and she pressed me for my phone number. I gave her my junk email account instead and told her that email is the best way of getting in touch with me. She was extremely offended and proceeded to snub me every week after that encounter. If I waved a friendly hello, I got a nasty sneer in response. If I was walking behind her and we came to a door, the door would slam in my face.
I didn't notice that The Sucker wasn't there to take the first exam. She came in the following week and took it in another classroom while the rest of us had lecture.
I missed the second exam due to wisdom teeth issues, so I was to take it yesterday. I got to the classroom an hour before class started so that I could study in peace. Much to my chagrin, in burst The Sucker and started firing questions at me. "How did you do example 1? I simply couldn't get it! This class is terrible! Blah blah blah lots of swearing blah blah!" Apparently she missed the second exam as well. Suddenly she's my best friend and wants to study "together". Like she's gonna help me.
I think I managed her pretty well. She kept talking, I politely told her to shut up by saying, "How about less freaking out and more cramming? I think that would be much more productive!" I had my own problems to study in my precious minutes before the exam.
When the instructor arrived, he chided ME for missing the exam. He said he would not do this again. If we miss the final, we're screwed. But why me?? I didn't miss two exams! I missed one exam!
Moments later, we're sitting in an empty classroom, taking the exam. I finished in about 20 minutes and took the remaining 30 minutes to check it over. Luckily I caught some small mistakes. The Sucker was audibly frustrated and had the audacity to keep talking during the exam. "This is ridiculous! Who walks at a rate of 4 feet per second! It's unrealistic!" And later, "I just don't get this y' thing. It's making me crazy." I thought, "Sucks to be you!" But I said, "Good luck", and left the room to hand in my test.
On my way home that night, I started feeling really sorry for AY because I'm pretty sure I put her through similar strife. But unlike my one-time experience with The Sucker, I think I was a Sucker for 6 consecutive years. That's awful. I'm so sorry!!! Consider this a formal apology. I think I finally learned my lesson.
And I fucking nailed that exam.
One thing that the music industry has taught me is that self-promotional people are usually not as talented and accomplished as they want you to believe. But they are incredibly desperate for your approval. After our initial one-sided chat where she told me her life story (including the screenplay that she wrote that she pitched all over Hollywood and had several meetings with people - BIG people - no, really HUGE people. Don't believe her? Believe her but just don't care? That's right.) I saw that she is one of those self-promotional people, and I don't really want those people in my life. She latched on to me because she found out that I'm sorta in the music industry and I'm sure in the back of her mind she felt that I could do something for her and her beloved screenplay. She didn't ask me any questions about me or my existence. All that mattered to her was getting her pitch out so that I'd have all the information, should I need to call on her some day. I won't.
The following week, The Sucker sat next to me in class, and talked at me through the whole 3 hours. She just didn't understand basic concepts of mathematics, and really should not have been in this class. But she had to take it to get into med school...sorry....I swear I'm not laughing...but can you imagine this person treating other people? She'd be like, "So, what's troubling you today?" And you, the patient, would answer, "I think I have an intestinal worm". And she'd be like, "I once wrote a screenplay about starving children in Botswana and almost got Kevin Costner to play the lead! Then I ran for mayor in Krakow and lost by a landslide!"
The week after that and every class thereafter, I made sure to pick a seat away from The Sucker, or a seat that she couldn't put herself next to for some reason. Sometimes I sat at the end of a row and made sure there was someone else sitting on the other side. Sometimes I spread all my belongings around the seats next to me. Anything to avoid The Sucker.
A week before the first exam, The Sucker approached me after class and asked for my phone number, in case I wanted to get together to study with her. I politely told her no, I can't get together this week, and she pressed me for my phone number. I gave her my junk email account instead and told her that email is the best way of getting in touch with me. She was extremely offended and proceeded to snub me every week after that encounter. If I waved a friendly hello, I got a nasty sneer in response. If I was walking behind her and we came to a door, the door would slam in my face.
I didn't notice that The Sucker wasn't there to take the first exam. She came in the following week and took it in another classroom while the rest of us had lecture.
I missed the second exam due to wisdom teeth issues, so I was to take it yesterday. I got to the classroom an hour before class started so that I could study in peace. Much to my chagrin, in burst The Sucker and started firing questions at me. "How did you do example 1? I simply couldn't get it! This class is terrible! Blah blah blah lots of swearing blah blah!" Apparently she missed the second exam as well. Suddenly she's my best friend and wants to study "together". Like she's gonna help me.
I think I managed her pretty well. She kept talking, I politely told her to shut up by saying, "How about less freaking out and more cramming? I think that would be much more productive!" I had my own problems to study in my precious minutes before the exam.
When the instructor arrived, he chided ME for missing the exam. He said he would not do this again. If we miss the final, we're screwed. But why me?? I didn't miss two exams! I missed one exam!
Moments later, we're sitting in an empty classroom, taking the exam. I finished in about 20 minutes and took the remaining 30 minutes to check it over. Luckily I caught some small mistakes. The Sucker was audibly frustrated and had the audacity to keep talking during the exam. "This is ridiculous! Who walks at a rate of 4 feet per second! It's unrealistic!" And later, "I just don't get this y' thing. It's making me crazy." I thought, "Sucks to be you!" But I said, "Good luck", and left the room to hand in my test.
On my way home that night, I started feeling really sorry for AY because I'm pretty sure I put her through similar strife. But unlike my one-time experience with The Sucker, I think I was a Sucker for 6 consecutive years. That's awful. I'm so sorry!!! Consider this a formal apology. I think I finally learned my lesson.
And I fucking nailed that exam.
posted by Myasorubka at 12:45 PM
4 Comments:
Brava, me lady. Job well done.
I feel the sucker's pain...i am so happy i don't have to take calculus again!
---s
The Sucker is Violet in 15 years.
Have you considered a career in Social Work? You have shown yourself to have all the necessary skills and restraint for dealing with difficult situations/people.
PS I am sure that you were never that much trouble to the aforementioned AY!! Congrats on nailing the exam!!
That post was hilarious. There's a lotta Suckers out there. They throw crap at me too, thinking maybe they'll get in the paper.
and calculus....uhhhgg. I actually had a recurring nightmare for a while where I was doomed to repeat a calculus class at UCLA. It was based on my experience retaking a calculas class at UCLA.
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