Client Audits Galore
I'm up late. I'm eating pita chips and working on client audits for the clients that win Worst Lyrics Ever by a landslide. If I could legally publish some of their lyrics here to show you all how deeply bad they are, I would. Picture misguided metaphors, plenty of filler-fluff for rhyming purposes, nothing concrete to say, and add to that a healthy dose of wanna-be shocking imagery. The last song had something to do with this guy's father's seeds and how he might be the apple that didn't fall too far from the tree. Ew.
This is in stark contrast to my previous client, Dan Bern, who wins Best Lyrics Ever. Dan Bern has a lot to say, which is evident by his catalog of over 400 songs. He says what he needs to say, and he shuts up. He says shocking things ("I am the messiah") and he means them. I like Dan Bern. He's on my Friendster list.
Dan Bern once told me a story in two sentences that had me completely hypnotized. It was something like this:
"You know in Alaska, you can wait all day for the sunset. And when it finally comes, the sun goes down....down....down.....and then it turns around and goes right back up again."
And I was like, :O
This is in stark contrast to my previous client, Dan Bern, who wins Best Lyrics Ever. Dan Bern has a lot to say, which is evident by his catalog of over 400 songs. He says what he needs to say, and he shuts up. He says shocking things ("I am the messiah") and he means them. I like Dan Bern. He's on my Friendster list.
Dan Bern once told me a story in two sentences that had me completely hypnotized. It was something like this:
"You know in Alaska, you can wait all day for the sunset. And when it finally comes, the sun goes down....down....down.....and then it turns around and goes right back up again."
And I was like, :O
posted by Myasorubka at 1:32 AM
5 Comments:
there's a tear
in my beer
cuz i miss you
my dear
(no i didn't make this up, but as far as bad lyrics go, it is the apex to reach for.)
Rossanna, if I try hard enough I know I can dig up some lyrics that you'll hate even worse. By the way, it's not confidential, but I've got potential, rushing rushing rushing arouuuuund.
Ya know, as much as I haaaaaaaate that song, it has one redeeming value which is that the chorus is catchy. The stuff I'm listening to is, like, Vogon poetry.
(by the way haaaaaaate has 6 syllables a la Dr. Cox)
Duff beer for me, Duff beer for you
You have a Duff, I'll have one too!
(what i hate even more)
everybody's just a stranger
that's the danger
of going my own way.
i guess it's a price i have to pay.
(mmm, pretty good, i like it)
but everything happens for a reason
there's no reason
not to ask yourself
if you're living it right
(nope, i was wrong, it's really quite bad).
Post a Comment
<< Home